Where to turn

Iv gone from feeling super depressed, to getting better to being super happy; and now i gotta be honest i have no idea where to turn. I’m trying to be a better person and trust me i trying, but somethings like guys for example just are so unpredictable. I mean iv  been chucked about so much iv traveled almost 5 hours away and been stood up, however i did get a book out of that visit. Iv been lead to think that i was in an amazing relationship and been shot down. And the two most worst of all are that fucking Joe went and told me he really liked me and then just out of the blue stops talking to me and posts all over Facebook how much he loves his girlfriend. TWAT. But just to top it off bloody Alex decides to make up a load of shit and that his number isn’t his and he has a girlfriend. I’m sorry but i wasn’t the one who sat next to him and started chatting to him and fucking hell i don’t even know anymore. 

I hate guys ed of story.

Getting There

Everything has been so much better since being at college, im becoming more open and lot more confident. I don’t know where it has come from but all of a sudden i just don’t feel sad. However what is really starting to get to me - and is going to sound so desperate, is that i really starting to hate being single. I mean iv never really thought about it before but i push people away and i just come on way to strong and expect to much from people. Being at college has made me realize that being myself is okay and i don’t have to impress anyone but myself and as long as i feel good, then in some ways that’s all that matters. 

Moving on

I have come to realize that i don’t appreciate the things that i should, and that i take many things for granted. This has come through looking at things differently and seeing everyday things in a new light, for example ever since i started college i have come out of my shell so much. I’m not afraid to be me because why should i be ashamed of having something that no one else has. In my eyes being different is good and so much better than following society because society sucks. 

We have been brought up to think certain things and expected to do everything that we are supposed to, but i put my middle finger up to that because fitting in with everyone around you stops you fro standing out. And to stand out is showing who you are, not who your expected to be.

I am not ashamed of being bisexual, being rubbish at maths and not having got the best GCSE results, or having the best body shape. Because at the end of the day we are all moving in the same direction, and that’s to live or dreams so for one im going to do that screw what anyone thinks of me. I may make a fool out of myself on the way and experience a few major obstacles but because i appreciate the little things in life  and make the most of it.